Couples therapy is fascinating. If you sit with couples, as I do, you start to attune not to the content (who said what, who dropped the ball, whose libido is too high or too low) and more to the energetic patterns that keep replaying over and over again. It becomes really obvious that the couple is actually replaying one core dynamic or …
The two topics that elicit the most heated emotions in couples therapy are perhaps money and sex. But there are plenty of other issues that typically get argued about: who’s spending too much time at work, who’s not helping out with household chores, who’s unwilling to commit, who’s being excessive with food or alcohol, who’s got misguided ideas about how to raise …
Whether you’re dating, engaged or married, at some point the honeymoon period ends. It can end gradually – nagging doubts that keep getting stronger over time. Or it can end abruptly because of a sudden realisation or a painful disappointment. In my therapy practice I’ve noticed that if couples don’t have difficulties in the year leading up to their marriage, they’ll often …
Particularly if we grew up in a family system which was dysfunctional or alcoholic, we’re likely to have developed an acute awareness of other people’s moods and internal states. A hypervigilance occurs where we learn to be incredibly attuned to cues signaling a shift in mood – a tone of voice, a facial expression, a hand gesture.
Like sponges, children unknowingly soak up …
