Whether you’re dating, engaged or married, at some point the honeymoon period ends. It can end gradually – nagging doubts that keep getting stronger over time. Or it can end abruptly because of a sudden realisation or a painful disappointment. In my therapy practice I’ve noticed that if couples don’t have difficulties in the year leading up to their marriage, they’ll often …
So you’ve fallen off the wagon and you’ve “done it again” – whether that means you’ve raided the fridge, the liquor cabinet or the deep stores of anger that live inside of you. Now what?
We put so much emphasis on trying not to binge, that as soon as we cross a certain line, we tend to assume we’ve failed and just go …
Many of us binge. What differs, is what we binge on. For some of us it’s food, alcohol, drugs or sex. For others it’s anger, anxiety, self-loathing or self-pity. The cycle in each case is surprisingly similar. We feel more and more tight and tense on the inside, our thoughts become all consuming and sooner or later, something snaps. We find temporary …
The underlying cause of the growing epidemic in eating disorders and obesity isn’t food, but the fact that we don’t want to feel. We don’t know what to do with the sadness, disappointment, anger, helplessness, shame, anxiety or worthlessness inside of us and so we try and avoid or numb it through food and eating (or through not eating which is the …
The key to transforming our lives doesn’t lie where we think it does. We make the mistake of believing that getting to where we want to go means working harder or striving more. In reality – no matter whether we’re wanting to heal our relationship with food, end the arguments in our home, grow our business or meet the man or woman …
Particularly if we grew up in a family system which was dysfunctional or alcoholic, we’re likely to have developed an acute awareness of other people’s moods and internal states. A hypervigilance occurs where we learn to be incredibly attuned to cues signaling a shift in mood – a tone of voice, a facial expression, a hand gesture.
Like sponges, children unknowingly soak up …