A month or two ago I was skiing with my two young kids and a ski instructor. We were at a chairlift and had to divide into pairs. I remember a slight contraction – how was this going to work and would I be navigating a meltdown. I watched in marvel as my six year old daughter trotted off happily …
I remember years ago wondering why I was so messed up when nothing “that bad” had actually happened to me. This a question a lot of my clients face when they look back at their childhoods. Ok, their childhoods weren’t perfect by any stretch, but in the context of world problems they weren’t that horrific either. So why all the struggle with anxiety, depression, relationships …
Many of us binge. What differs, is what we binge on. For some of us it’s food, alcohol, drugs or sex. For others it’s anger, anxiety, self-loathing or self-pity. The cycle in each case is surprisingly similar. We feel more and more tight and tense on the inside, our thoughts become all consuming and sooner or later, something snaps. We find temporary …
The underlying cause of the growing epidemic in eating disorders and obesity isn’t food, but the fact that we don’t want to feel. We don’t know what to do with the sadness, disappointment, anger, helplessness, shame, anxiety or worthlessness inside of us and so we try and avoid or numb it through food and eating (or through not eating which is the …
The key to transforming our lives doesn’t lie where we think it does. We make the mistake of believing that getting to where we want to go means working harder or striving more. In reality – no matter whether we’re wanting to heal our relationship with food, end the arguments in our home, grow our business or meet the man or woman …
Particularly if we grew up in a family system which was dysfunctional or alcoholic, we’re likely to have developed an acute awareness of other people’s moods and internal states. A hypervigilance occurs where we learn to be incredibly attuned to cues signaling a shift in mood – a tone of voice, a facial expression, a hand gesture.
Like sponges, children unknowingly soak up …
