The times I rely on meditation most are usually late afternoon or early evening when the constant stream of “mum, mama, muuuumm” are starting to feel relentless. On a good day (which isn’t all of them) when I start to feel myself wanting to snap at the kids, or I’m just plain exhausted, I announce to the family (or just the children if I’m alone with them) that I’m meditating which is basically code for “I need a break”. It’s a kind of time-out for me.
I don’t leave the room. I typically just sit on the sofa in the living room and take out a 15 minute sand-timer (you can start with 1 minute or 5 minutes if you prefer). My kids don’t suddenly go quiet or talk in hushed tones, but they know I’m much less likely to answer questions or respond to any requests until the sand-timer is all done. If things get noisy around me I treat that as an invitation to focus in deeper. And if a child crawls into my lap (which the younger one sometimes does) that’s fine too. I try and remember that if spiritually-speaking it’s all one, then there is no such thing as an interruption. And every so often I do actually answer a question or deal with something before returning to the meditation, because that’s just life (and I don’t want my kids to associate me meditating with me being inflexible and rigid).
It’s a great way of making meditation a part of family life. Children can see you try and self-regulate and deal with messier feelings. In fact, these days when I’m not my best self, my kids will often ask me if I need to go meditate. Which of course can be profoundly annoying but much of the time I’Il make a real effort to gracefully agree with them.
I’ve done this for years, way before coronavirus and COVID-19. But if there is a silver lining to what’s going on, it’s that lockdowns, homeschooling and a lack of distractions, can create a kind of meditation retreat environment (albeit a sometimes very challenging one). And that if we want to stay kind and sane we’re going to have to practice working with our thoughts and feelings.
Photo credit:@kimserveauphotography