How’s your January going? 

If Your New Year Resolutions Are Not Quite Going To Plan Don’t Despair

• First off, the 1st January is New Year’s Day in the old Gregorian calendar which ignores the lunar and solar cycle. TherealNew Year’s day, if you’re taking into consideration the sun and stars, is actually 22 January (it changes slightly every year). Phew – you get to have a redo if you need one. And this time the stars might give you some additional momentum.
• Secondly, let’s face it, any significant change usually involves quite a bit of practice (and quite a bit of compassion and empathy whilst we’re failing at said practice).In other words no date in the calendar is likely to work miracles (and so really any date is a good date to start practicing).

Disconnection From The Body 

If you’re having a hard time making change around any habits or addictions, the most common reason that people don’t progress is because they’re not connected enough to their bodies.  This is hard for us to grasp because we’ve often gotten very used to the degree we can feel our bodies from the inside – and we’ve often lived with that degree of disconnection for years so it feels totally “normal”. Keep in mind disconnection isn’t a failing – it’s often a useful adaptation that gets us through our childhoods by helping us feel less.

Inability To Tolerate Physical Sensations 

Or sometimes we’re not that disconnected,we just haven’t learned how to tolerate uncomfortable physical sensations in our bodies yet (cue overeating, overdrinking, overworking, scrolling, porn and shopping all geared towards numbing, distracting and taking the edge off). Try not to judge this.  The reality is if our parents weren’t very good at  accessing and self regulating their emotional states and feelings, it’s unlikely we’ll grow up to be geniuses at it.

LOSST Practice 

Whichever camp you think you’re in I’ve got you covered with my favorite 1-2 minute practice called LOSST. It’ll take you from overwhelmed and disconnected (a.k.a “lost”) to at least a bit clearer and a bit more grounded in about 90 seconds.  So maybe not quite “found” but at least moving steadily in that direction 😉

It’s obviously not a silver bullet. But if every time you have that urge to eat or drink or scream at the kids and you do a quick LOSST practice I guarantee you change will happen! Just being able to locate and identify the physical sensations you can’t tolerate (yet) will give you a really useful roadmap of the work that’s needed

If Going Cold Turkey Isn’t Working, Do This 

If going cold turkey on a habit isn’t working for you, I invite you to start small and genuinely make it a practice.  Maybe the goal isn’t to “not do the thing” right now.  Maybe the goal is to stay with the uncomfortable sensations that make you want to “do the thing” for 15 seconds.  And then 45 seconds.  And then 3 minutes and then 15 minutes.  You build up your tolerance for what your mind labels “discomfort” or “pain”.  Whilst keeping in mind the point of the exercise is not to brace against the pain but to learn to relax and open into it.  There’s no fighting involved.  Once you reach your limit for the day you can still go and “do the thing” (whilst loving yourself where you’re at).

If you’re curious take two and a half minutes to watch the  video now.  Let me know what you think. 

And if you like tools like this, and struggle with food, do check out my online program that helps you heal your relationship with food for good – BingeFree.com.

Here’s that LOSST video again.

Happy New year for the 22nd January!